After Hours 1 (This Week’s Art)
A Collection of Inanimate Objects Far Sexier on Camera Than Any Meth Head from Model Mayhem
After Hours 1 is the first piece in a triptych of still life photos I shot on Christmas night 2015. All three were available to purchase via print-on-demand at one time. Pulling them from the market following zero sales and my growing disdain for the POD model as it pertains to artists. To this artist, anyway. I documented this photography session in my bare-all memoir Naked Ambition: A Male Stripper’s True Account of Making Girls Behave Badly:
“I spent Christmas night experimenting with product photography in my garage while drinking Jack and Coke. This session centered around creating sexy settings including items like handcuffs, lingerie, wine glasses, and bedsheets. Attempting to tell an erotic story through still images using only inanimate objects. This was sexier than photographing some wannabe female model naked in the woods. The results were better than anticipated. Providing me with three fine art photography pieces that I would later sell online in a variety of print options.
As I enjoyed this alone time, the phone rang. I should’ve let it go to voicemail as anyone with the nerve to call me on Christmas night must be trouble. Muscle memory got the best of me and I answered. Only to encounter a shrill and intoxicated female voice.
‘Yeah, we need you to send a male stripper to our party we’re having right now,’ she abrasively slurred with all the charm and grace of a drunken Hillary Clinton.
There was a time when I would’ve tried to book that party. Disgusting as that woman was. Even knowing that, if I did, it would be a disaster. But not tonight. Not only because I was a little buzzed myself, but because I was too good for this nasty woman and her surely god-awful friends. It didn’t matter how much money they had. My time that night playing with photography and being creative was worth more than anything they had to offer me. So, I politely declined and hung up.”